Lagos, BCAN and Graduate Bus Conductors

In Nigeria's parlance, graduate and conductor are two dissimilar words that should not even appear in the same sentence.  When they do, they are required to be separated by as many words as possible. So a word like "The graduate asked the conductor for his change" is inappropriate since there are not enough words between graduate and conductor.

A more appropriate sentence would be "The graduate did not think it was wise to remain in the dark, secluded corner under the bridge while he waited to collect his change from the loud, dirty and overzealous bus conductor". In this statement, graduate and conductor are separated by 30 words which is more than appropriate - in Nigeria's parlance. 

Given the disparity between a graduate and a conductor, it came as a surprise to many Nigerian graduates when the Lagos State Ministry of Transportation on behalf of Comrade Israel Ade, the national president of the Bus Conductors Association of Nigeria (BCAN), said the association in conjunction with the Lagos state government, was training University graduates to become bus conductors. According to Comrade Ade, the move was borne out of the necessity to bring sanity and professionalism into the bus conducting trade.

The first issue here is that bus conductors have a national association. That is scary although we should not be surprised. If African first ladies can have an association, then the conductors are more than free to have theirs. At least, there are more conductors in Nigeria than first ladies in Africa.

The second is that Comrade Ade was not specific. Would the graduates act as conductors for the state-owned Bus Rapid Transit (BRT) buses or the privately-owned yellow buses?

Thirdly and most importantly, he mentioned that the graduates would be under the payroll of the Lagos state government and would be paid a flat salary of 50,000 naira monthly. 

Before I go any further, Comrade Ade needs to know that he has committed a taboo. 50,000 naira or not, he has downgraded a University graduate to the work of a bus conductor. As if that was not enough, he used graduate and conductor in the same sentence and did not separate them with enough adjectives. The two words are uncomfortably close for the average Nigerian graduate. Someone even called them “graduate conductors”, abomination!

The problem with this graduate conductor initiative is neither Comrade Ade nor the conductors, it is the graduate. The average Nigerian graduate sees himself as a little god that should be worshiped. Anything below a fully air conditioned office and a six figure salary is unacceptable. Even when the salary is not up to six figures, the air conditioned office and the privilege of taking unnecessary selfies in a posh environment has covered for the deficit.

The average Nigerian graduate prefers working in a closed environment with terrible take home pay than in an open environment with decent take home pay. They fail to realize that some jobs are nothing but stepping stones. That is, some jobs serve no other purpose than to keep the body and soul together until one find something better. The graduate conductor scheme does just that. However, graduates should be careful with these stepping stone jobs so they would not end up with a low-paying job that would only delay their progress. Many roadside private schools and Indian and Lebanese run factories fall under this category. Those places are not stepping stones but obstructing mountains. 

Some students of the University of Lagos dress as NURTW members during their costume day.

The salary of the graduate conductor is definitely lucrative but many graduates would see it as demeaning because of the erroneous belief that a graduate is of a higher class than a conductor, who is viewed as an illiterate. Mind you, in Nigerian parlance, an illiterate is someone that did not attend a University even if he attended a secondary school and left with good grades.

There is nothing bad with a graduate working as a bus conductor. All that is necessary is clear vision and goals. Or are graduates afraid that they might not be able to mimic the voice conductors use to call passengers into their buses? Fear not! Any graduate that took part in Aluta protests, sang "solidarity is forever" or shouted "Great Nigerian students” while in the University should be to shout "Oshodi, Oshodi, Oshodi, Oshoooooo". The same applies to those that shouted "Corper We” or “Wa” in NYSC camps. 

The Lagos state graduate conductor scheme is a good initiative; if not for the job, for the money. All it needs is packaging. If street cleaners are called highway managers, LAWMA waste packers are called sanitation officers and BRT drivers are called pilots, graduate conductors should also be called something catchy like vehicle coordinators. The term “graduate conductor” sounds degadatory. Meanwhile, I will advice Nigerian graduates, most especially those residing in Lagos without anything tangible doing to swallow their pride so they can swallow the 50,000 salary they will receive as graduate conductors vehicle coordinators.